High School Stereotypes
by Fatal Instigator
Summary: Upon realizing that his plan to wipe out humanity is never going to work, Magneto sends his Acolytes to recruit a few of Xavier’s students, for his next mission. Discontinued
1. Red Eye And Red Head

**Disclaimer: I have an appointment with WB, to buy X Men: Evolution on the 23rd…2018. Until then, I don't own X Men: Evolution.**

**Author's Notes: See? I'm still alive! It's just that I've been having a little bit of trouble with one of the muses. *Kicks Piotr in the ass* Work slave! Anyhoo, the next chapter of Flammable Icing and Barbie Dolls, will be up some time this month.**

**Random Quote: ****_"When he wakes up tell him... I don't know. Think of something cool, tell him I said it."_**__

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"Lets see. Charles started out with that chick I hit on and the metal boy. Then he got red eye and red head." The man giggled. "Red eye and red head! Okay, then he got my lab rat and 'catty'?" He scratched his head. "Something like that. Well, by that time, Mystique had froggy and mullet boy. Mystique then got the female version of Gambit and fat boy." He scribbled the names down and placed the tip of his pen in his mouth. "She got my son and lost the female Gambit to Charles who also got 'spike' " He sighed. _So many!_ "The year after, Charles got a hell lot of new brats, and one of them ran off to Mystique's team. Charles also got the blue yeti. Mullet boy joined Charles' team for one episode but went back to his old team. Oh, oh, oh! Mystique got my psycho daughter as well. But, she lost the brat who joined her team. I finally got my lackeys and got Pietro back while Charles lost two kids." He burst out in evil laughter. "Oh, and I also got that Italian guy, 'Mario', but he went on vacation two months ago."

"Chirpin." Mentioned the Acolytes' mascot from its seat on its leader's desk.

"You're right." The man turned around, revealing himself to be none other than the evil villain, Magneto. A shadow passed his face. "Charles has too many kids." He said in a low voice.

"Chirp?"

"There's only one thing I can do," Magneto got up from his armchair, "I'll have to steal some of Charles' brats to try to even things out."

"Squeak!" The squirrel leapt up and ran to its leader's feet.

"I have just the plan!" Magneto frowned and looked around the room. "Where are my lackeys?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What the hell! Since when have I been going out with this Amara chick?" John blew a lock of his unruly, reddish hair, out of his face, in exasperation. 

"Since I've been going out with Rogue." Pietro replied, getting the attention of a certain Cajun.

"Wait a minute!" Remy turned around in his computer chair. "Remy is goin' out wit da Rogue girl!"

Sabretooth shook his head sadly as the two started to fight. _Why did I suggest that we read stories on the Internet? _"Damn you fanfiction.net!"

"I'm gay?" John looked over at Sabretooth, tears welling up in his eyes. "This fan girl made me gay!"

"I t'ough' Pietro would be da gay guy in da group." Remy said, a devilish grin crossing his face.

"Ha! In this story you hooked up with an Mary Sue!" Pietro did a dance around the computer room where the Acolytes were currently hanging out, not knowing that Remy offended him, much to his teammate's disappointment. "Fans stopped hooking me up with Mary Sues long ago!"

A sigh escaped Sabretooth "Why don't I ever get a girlfriend?"

"Easy," John grinned as he flamed a story, "everyone thinks you're with Mystique."

Piotr reached over and patted Sabretooth on the back. "If it makes you feel better, I never get a girl. Everyone is still writing stories with Kitty and Lance. At least one author gave you a niece." 

"Guys. Come here."

"What, John?" The group asked, a bit worried at the tone of their friend's voice, as they gathered around his computer screen.

"This new author thinks Magneto kidnaps girls."

"He doesn't?"

"Yeah, well he did kidnap that Wanda chick, but that's not all of it."

"What happens?" Sabretooth asked, impatiently.

"We do naughty things to the Mary Sue until one of us falls in love with her and frees her."

Remy burst out laughing as he read a paragraph of the story. "Piotr a rapist?"

"It's not funny!" Piotr burst out in tears.

Magneto floated in the room, shaking his head at what they were laughing about. "Attention!"

The Acolytes jumped up and saluted their leader, slapping themselves in their faces in the process. "Yes sir!"

"After many hours of plotting to take over the world, I realized that it would never happen. We have the crappiest team in the show."

"But da hottest!" Remy interrupted, as his friends nodded in agreement.

"True, very true…but that's not the point!"

"What's the point, father?"

"The point, Pietro you idiot," Magneto massaged his forehead, "is that we need a better team." 

"W'at's wrong wit it now?"

Magneto glanced at each Acolyte, a look of disgust plastered on his face. John was playing with a lighter behind his back; Pietro was swaying back in forth singing show tunes with Remy, Piotr was forcing back tears and Sabretooth- Magneto mentally groaned at the sight. Sabretooth was acting out their last battle with sock puppets. "All of you are pathetic!" He yelled, sending small metallic objects zooming around the room.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones," John chanted, "but…what comes next?"

Magneto kicked him in the shins, smiling as his lackey fell to the floor and started to cry. "After hours of intense research, I discovered two students of Xavier would be extremely helpful to our mission."

"Wait a minute! Time out!" Piotr walked up to his leader and poked him in the chest. "First thing's first. Why do we need new recruits? We already got one." He said pointing to the squirrel.

"I prefer one that actually speaks the same language as us."

"Fine…" Piotr frowned. "What's our mission, anyway?"

"To take over the food market industry of course."

"W'o's da mu'an's?"

A evil smile appeared on Magneto's face. "Scott and his biotch." He chuckled as the Acolytes' jaws dropped. "You have one week. Have fun!" He yelled over his shoulder as he left the room.

"They're going to help us?" Pietro shook his head in disbelief. "Unbelievable!"

"Man, it's going to be hard to get them away from kissing Xavier's ass all day."

John giggled from his spot on the floor. "That sounds so dirty, Piotr!"

"It's true!"

"Piotr, they treat him like a father." Pietro pointed out.

"So? They can have a twisted up family."

"Piotr does have a point, Pietro." Sabretooth said, logically. "It's going to be hard to get them away from Charles."

"Well," John began, getting into the spirit of the mission, "we could always kidnap them, it's a classic!"

"You're forgetting, my friend, we want them to join the team. If we bring them here against their free will, they won't join."

Remy chuckled. "Must y' be a downer in everyt'in', Sabes?"

"Shut up, LeBeau."

"Guys!" John jumped up. "I got it!"

Piotr yawned and glanced at his watch. "Hurry up and tell us, it's almost time for my nap."

"Okay." A grin formed on John's face. "What's one place Xavier can't go without being mistaken for a janitor?"

His teammates glanced at each other and shrugged. "…Our place?"

John slapped himself in the face. "No! Bayville High!"

"Just how are we supposed to get them?" A frustrated Sabretooth asked. "We can't very well just waltz into the school and invite them to join. For one thing, they have already have seen Pietro and I. And, do you know how odd our team looks?"

"We're odd looking?"

"I know what he's talking about, John." Piotr laid a giant hand on his friend's shoulder. "What would you say if you saw a oversized kitty, a pyromaniac, a silver haired speed demon, an iron giant and a card loving Cajun walk into a high school?"

"I say it's the beginning of one of Pietro's crappy jokes."

"Hey!" Pietro smacked John on the arm. "I'm proud of my jokes."

"We're off topic, here." Sabretooth interrupted. "We have to think of a plan. Guys!" He glared at John and Pietro who were now in an all out brawl.

Piotr grabbed Pietro and held him back. "Would you cut that out?"

"He started it!'

"Did not!'

"Guys," Sabretooth began, "this isn't-" He was cut off by a cough from Remy.

"Gather around, mes amis." Remy said after he got their attention. "Remy 'ere has a plan."

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**Buwahahaha! I'll stop it there, and make you guys guess what they're going to do. **

***Note to Jean and Scott fans: I like Jean and Scott, I really do. Okay, actually I prefer Scott to Jean. Who can resist a guy in shades? *Drools* **

**Review please!**


	2. De Plan Mes Amis

**Authoress' Notes: *Blinks* 20 reviews? What the hell? This story has no point! I'm making it up as I go! Oh well, I shouldn't complain about reviews, cause the amount I got was sweet!**

**Okay, I shall now explain why I chose Jean and Scott. I actually like Scott and wanted him to have a decent role in one of my stories, and due to the fact that he won't go anywhere without Jean, she would have to be in it too. It's funny because these are the two mutants that are extremely devoted to Xavier and of course would be the least likely to join another team. Yes, I know Magneto would take mutants that are strong but lets take a short look at why some mutants can't join.**

**Kitty – Sabretooth gets embarrassed easily and Kitty enjoys walking through doors without knocking. I don't think that would work.  
Lance – He makes earthquake thingies and gets headaches. And other words, he'll use all the aspirin.  
Kurt – John's the comic relief in the Acolytes. We don't want competition.  
Rogue – I don't like her  
Todd – Uh…I'll think of something later**

**All the popular mutants suck! Hence the reason I take the two mutants everyone hates.**

**Random Quote: ****_I'm drowning in footwear!_**

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**Last time we saw our heroes, they were hanging out at HQ when…aw screw it. You already read the first chapter.**

John leapt across the room and landed at Remy's feet. "What's the plan?"

"Plan? Remy doesn't 'ave a plan. Remy only said dat 'cause Remy didn't speak for awhile."

The gang glared. 

"Damnit Remy!" Piotr threw a computer across the room. "You need to think of a plan or this story has no purpose in life!"

"And stop talking like that!" Pietro added

Remy frowned at the younger boy. "Y' re just jealous." He turned to Piotr "Well…let Remy t'ink…no dat wouldn't work, we would need forty five crates of American cheese…wait! Remy knows!"

The gang quickly looked at Remy "Tell us!"

"It's amazing!"

"Tell us!"

"W'y didn't I t'ink of it sooner?"

"Tell us!"

"Pure brilliance!"

"Damnit, Remy!"

"Fine den, I'll tell. We shall brainwash Jean an' Scott into believing dat dey were always par' of da Acolytes. Den, during da big fight scene dat happens 'cause da writer wants an excuse t' 'ave Xavier fight in his boxers, a big heart-t'-heart be'ween da X People an' Jean an' Scott shall happen. Dey will get deir memories back an' join da X People once again. T' make da story go out wit' a bang, dey would put deir powers t'ge'her, an' defeat da Acolytes once an' f'r all!"

The Acolytes and the squirrel glanced at each and coughed nervously.

"Or, t' save da authoress f'om t'inking t' much, we could always disguise ourselves as exchange students f'om random countries, an' befriend Jean an' Scott, telling

dem t' follow da evilness in deir hearts an' join da Acolytes."

The gang looked at each.

"That'll do, Remy" Pietro said with a nod. "That'll do."

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Jean shuddered.

Scott frowned as he drove them to the school. "Why did you shudder Jean?"

"I…I don't know."

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"Alright, boys, do you all have your lunches? 

"Yes, Magneto!"

"Pietro, do you have an extra pair of underwear?"

"Yes daddy."

"Piotr, I still don't approve of those pants, pull them up before they fall to your ankles."

Piotr folded his arms angrily, "Listen man, you don't own me! I am my own person!"

"Besides mate," John added with a giggle, "The low pants just make for easy access!"

Magneto decided to let that one by. _Mental note: reconsider giving John his own bedroom, away from Piotr. _"Alright then troops. Remember your goal. Do not be led astray by high school peer pressure, and remember: 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but damnit I can rip your head off!' Kids are just naturally cruel and you have to learn to just shrug off their insults or know a good place to dispose of their bodies. And remember, you are all 'special individuals' in my eyes."

The Acolytes sniffed and wiped back tears. "We love you too daddy!" Pietro squealed and grabbed Magneto in a bear hug.

"Pietro you little shit! Get off me!" Pietro let go of Magneto. Magneto continued to watch the boy out of the corner of his eye nervously. "For the love of me, don't mess up!"

"We promise!" The Acolytes chorused. Magneto failed to notice that their fingers were crossed behind their backs.

"Okay kids, have fun!" Magneto hit a button and the mini van's door open. The Acolytes tumbled out excitedly. "Don't forget Remy, you have basketball practice at four! And, Sabretooth." Magneto shook his finger at his lackey. "Don't you trade your sandwich for a fruit roll-up!" 

Sabretooth pouted. "Yes sir"

Magneto sighed as he watched John try to pull Piotr's pants down, making the giant mutant start to strangle him while the rest of the Acolytes tried to pry him off. _They're going to blow their cover; I can feel it in my bones. _Magneto gasped. _My brownies! They are going to burn if I don't get them out of the oven NOW! _He started up his mini van and zoomed out of the school parking lot.

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"Scott, I really have a bad feeling about today."

Scott sighed and pulled into the school's parking area. "Jean I'm not going to go back to the institute, you'll be fine."

"Right!" Kurt, Kitty, and Rogue cried.

Jean looked at them, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," Kurt began, "we only appeared because everyone and their grandmother's third cousin twice removed roommate love us and would flame the story if we were not in it."

"Oh…can you go now? This is our story."

"Hold on." Kitty picked up a copy of **Amazing Spiderman #1** and the three each placed one of their hands on it. "One…two…three" She finished as they disappeared in a cloud of brimstone.

Duncan ran up to them from nowhere and gasped dramatically. "No way! They just disappeared!" He looked at Scott and Jean. "Something is going on! I'm on-" He stopped his ranting as Jean used her powers to make him forget what he saw. He looked at them, stupidly. "Where am I?" He wandered around the parking lot asking people where he was, only to get run over by Kelly's car.

"That'll take care of him!" Jean proclaimed, dusting off her hands. "I don't like to rid people of their memories, but this was an emergency." She handed Scott her bag and walked over Duncan's unconscious body. "Come on, Scott. We can't be late!"

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**There you go. Sorry for the chapter, I'm half asleep and have been reading Harry Potter…someone slap me. Review please!**


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